why we sometimes take people for granted

There's a lot of reasons why.

But first let us differentiate between 'taking people for granted' and 'choosing not to be friends anymore'.

Taking people for granted, in my opinion is when that person never did anything wrong to you, but suddenly, both of you just drifted apart, without any particular reasons. And you don't care about that person anymore, you think about her/him but you are just too lazy to pick up the phone, or drop by once in a while, or maybe you are not lazy, but you just don't have time, you are too busy, you are too far apart, bla bla bla, the list goes on.

While in the other hand, choosing not to be friends, is well, is how it is. Its understandable right. You don't like this and that of that person. You just get away from her/him and decide this relationship is not worth the time, this person makes my life hell, this person brings out the worst in me, etcetera.

Now we are going to discuss, maybe not discuss, maybe it's just me ranting, because this is pretty much a one way conversation. yes/no? yes.

Okay, I once went through a phase of 'being cool'. Let's be cool. Hang out with cool people? You're cool! Have a boyfriend and rant about how cool your boyfriend is? You're cool! Wear cool hip trendy clothes, buy hip chick mobile phone, talk cool-y, text like a cool person. Been there done that. And then things become too much. By too much I mean, things go overboard, when you are trying too hard to be cool.

Someone used to say to me "ohh, ######? that's normal, that's so cool" And I did it. Only it's not cool at all. Because it's wrong, and you shouldn't do it. All my friends decided to not be friend with me, to teach me a lesson (or so they say), and yeah after some time and after being counselled by my friends, I pretty much learnt my lesson. At that point.

And then after school, I realize, that that's not the real reason they pushed me away, its the fact that I'm an outsider, and I'll always be an outsider. I know I am, because I tried hard to be one of them, dress the way they dress, live the way they live, eat the way they eat, even talk the way they talk.

So, I decided to push them away from my life. I distanced myself, I didn't try to contact them, I didn't ask them how they have been, where they are now, I just stop caring.

And I make new circles of friends. I meet new people. I become myself this time, I don't change myself to fit in, I let people accept me for who I am, for the way I behave, for how my emotions run through our everyday life. I cope with them, they cope with me, and until this very moment, the friendships still stand strong. Though we are far apart, we are still near at heart.

That's when I learn to create different circles of friendships. I don't stick to just one group, I make more and more friends. I have this and that kind of friends, here and there. People who don't judge people who don't care about who you are, but cares of how you have been.

But through that journey, I still think about my school friends, my first circle. Though I don't appreciate them that much, I still think of them, because through that thick and thin, there's a lot of memories we shared. And I try to make amend. I try to start fresh. And I only choose one of them, one that I feel very close to, one that I thought, felt the way I felt, because we are both outsiders.

It's a long way, putting a shattered friendship back together again. It won't be perfect because you have both been through different phases in life without each other. You just have to start all over again. Like starting a new friendship. You have to learn to get to know each other again.

The way to do that is to talk, to spend time together, to learn again about that person, and after a few while, I discovered, we both felt the same way!

You see, when I decided to shut away from them, they didn't try to find me, which shows a great deal that they don't really care about the very existence of me. So why bother. Yes, we both felt alienated by the people we've grown up together with.

But it doesn't matter. As we are now different kind of people, with different perspectives in life, different upbringing, but same intention at heart. That long lost friendship is about to get back on its feet.

I'm trying to be your friend again, to be there for u as much as I can, to help you through thick and thin, because you were there for me when I needed someone to hold on to, even after a broken friendship.

To a certain someone. KISSES.