another update

I hate to start my post with its been a while, but that's what keep on happening. I don"t have much time to just sit around and do magic wonders with my keyboard (as if I'm such a good writer. so perasan). But that's what I enjoy doing, so who cares right? Life's hectic, studying full time and working part time is not easy. Apparently you lost your precious time hanging out, doing fun things with fun people, or just laying around doing nothing. Your day starts early, ends very late, you're tired all the time, yada yada yada. Ok don't want to complain any further.

But, most importantly, I'm satisfied with myself, a bit concern though about the exams, coming so near, it's like a big giant monster approaching with mouth wide open, fangs so sharp can penetrate through titanium (ecehhh) nearer, nearer, aaaaaaaaaummmmmm! ngap! die. Hahaha. Seriously I'm going nuts over here!

Been missing a lot of what's happening in Malaysia lately, what's been going on with my family and friends back home. I have three month to catch up with everything back home I sure will spend the best of my time. Can't believe Baby Zara is 3 month already, so chubby and just the most adorable creature I've ever seen. I don't understand why I love my nieces and nephew so much.

If I have all the money in the world, I'd buy them all sort of things to make them happy, for them to play, for them to learn, bla bla bla, will even buy the whole Toys'R'Us for them. Might as well build like a super duper humongous playground for the three of them. Keeeeeeep dreaming silly girl.

My other sister-in-law is expecting, now that will make me a proud aunt of four yeah? Cool! Young aunty, very young. Haha.

Both my brothers are married now, next in line would be me. I'm 21 and clueless. At 21, both my silly brothers already know who they want to be with for the rest of their life, or so I thought. And being men, and getting married at 24, 25, that's a real challenge, a big deal, a fun thing too, but that's a very big risk, but they get through it. I think our parents brought us up to be more mature than our age.

It's not like we missed out on our childhood, we had a hell of a good time during our childhood, trust me!, but mom and dad really brought us up well. We are children we make mistakes, as teenagers, we do hurt our parents, like a lot, but as we grew older, all that our parents thought us really are absorbs into our heart, our soul, and it really did makes us the person we are today. With mistakes, come a whole lot of valuable experiences, ain't that true?

Back to yours truly, being clueless is really what I am. And good at it too. You can put uncertainty as my middle name.(keh keh nak jugak kan?) But seriously, when my mother talk about my future, like when I get married, if I ever get married, there's like this choking sensation at my throat, and I keep asking myself, who do I want to marry? I have no candidates, no close guys that I can choose or play eenie meenie minie more, so to whom shall I marry mother dear?

Guess you gonna have to wait like a few more freaking years. Haha.

I hate when times seems to be moving so slow sometimes and so quickly another time. I can't believe I'm going to be 22 next year, I'm really really freaking out now. I always thought by 22 I'll have my life sorted out, but if I were to learn anything, I can never get anything sorted out, just not good at organizing, though I try really hard at it. Life just doesn't want to fall the way I want it to be. Damn.

I wonder how I'm gonna feel when I'm about to reach 30. Ohhh I sure will freakkkkkk out extremely.

Ok, enough with the blabbering, I just want to note down here that at 10/10/2011 I'm completely clueless of where life is gonna take me to. So, I'll write again when I have more answers. Maybe when I have found my prince charming, or Ryan Reynolds would be just fine.

Kisses.