It's hard when you want something, something that is so near, but not reachable enough. You can see it, you can feel it, you can smell it, and you try hard enough, you reach out your hand for it, a little more, just a little bit more, but, sadly, you still can't fetch it.
You freaked out, you curse yourself, why are you being caged? Where is the key to this massive cage? You cry, and cry some more, and you stare at that something you are trying to reach from the inside, and you cry even more.
Why is this punishment given to you? What is the meaning behind all this long suffering? What is the point of showing that something in front of your eyes, but yet still out of your reach.
Urgh, you scratch your head, you try to think hard and try to make sense of everything, but you are just so damn frustrated and angry, you just can't think hard enough.
Sit still, be calm, you said to yourself.
All this being in a cage and not being able to reach that something is a blessing in disguise. A hard way for you to try to embrace the sweetness of being in pain.
Maybe the best punishment for what I've did is time. Being caged means that I have so much time for myself to think of what I've done and repent. Time heals the pain and sorrow in one's heart.
Being caged also means being alone and it also means that I'm far from being hurt again.
And seeing that thing from afar, not being able to reach it to touch it, means I'm protected from the forbidden something. I am allowed to look at it, to feel its presence, to smell its existence, but, it just can't be mine for now. It's not mine.
You are not mine.
My heart ache for you, for my heart is you. I know how much you are in pain and so is I.
But this is not our job, this is not for us to decide, let time heals and if time is the punishment for us, then just let time decides what's best.
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