War of me

The road that has taken me this far, though it seems light and easy, full of wonderful things filling in, it's not without hardship and pain.

My dreams, almost all of it, are starting to be true. Not just dreams and desires anymore, they are turning into reality. But not without a price. Sigh.

And sacrifices. Sigh sigh.

I always think that all these are too good to be true. Well, it's true as a matter of facts, but behind the truth it brought me more sadness and griefs.

The dreams comes and alongside it nightmare started to haunt me too.

I wanted a better life, I lost people I love.

I wanted to study abroad, I have to face a future that is so uncertain.

I wanted a new me, I'm losing half of myself.

And the list goes on and on.

You cannot get something without losing another thing. It's all about giving and taking, to ensure balance in life is maintain. Like when you breathe, the air loses oxygen and your heart gain some. And then you breathe out carbon dioxide, the green leaves turn it into oxygen again, and it happens again and again. That's the simplest example I can give you.

Or maybe something else. Let say, if you want money, richness, success, and gain fame in your life, you might lose some of your friends, your principles, your security, your privacy or anything that's worthy to you ,in order for you to get something else in your life. Something like that.

Well, life is a gamble is it not?

That will make me the most lousy gambler of all time. Because I just can't afford to put something worthy in my life at stake.

Well my point is, to be me now, the me that is inhibiting this body right now, right here, at this moment, I have to prioritize my ambitions, and let go of a few things that I love, that I cannot carry on as my 'excess baggage'.

After all a war cannot be won without losing a few lives.