I'm getting cold feet

I just recently realized, that I'll be going to some freaking foreign land I've never set my foot on, on my own, surrounded by strangers, with no family members to hang on too and with many many more miseries in my head.

And it only occurred to me now. All my excitements are gone. What left are fear, sadness, insecurity and worry. Like a month before I enroll, a few weeks before I get my ticket, a few days before I send off my complete documents, signing the contract and everything. Only now that I feel like backing off. The problem is I can't.

My head is spinning with thousands of what if, what if, what if?

And being me, things could turn out pretty badly, if everything doesn't turn out according to plans. I'll go gaga.

I want to breathe

I want to grow

I say I want it

But I don't know how

I look

I bleed

I beg and

I pray

Thom Yorke